Push food into my mouth

Push food into my mouth, please.


I can’t fight it … just let it come at me!
The holiday food is striking hard. Like Luke Skywalker at the Death Star – shoot that gooey chocolate covered cherry cordial down my exhaust port. Wait… intake port. It would be a whole different scene if goodies were going into the ‘exhaust port’ now wouldn’t it?

All the yummy home baked goodies, all the buckets of school fund cookie dough, all the work potlucks, birthday cakes … and vendor ‘kick-backs’ in the form of gift baskets, have overwhelmed me. I must eat them all. ALL. Got some stuff from a glove supplier in California, a basket of gourmet foods from Harry and David. Oh my… Hickory Farms can kiss my butt; this stuff is good! Well, actually I’ll eat the Hickory Farms stuff now too. GAWD I’m the Festivus Pig!

Now, I wish someone would wrap up a nice Winter Ale, or a hardy wine, hard cider, or a magnum of bubbly.

They’re going to have to roll me into 2006.