Dizzy Jargonitous

Today I went through the State of Oregon IT job listings and pulled these skill requirements from the website:

Technical Skills:

.Net • Access VBA • Active Directory • Active Server Pages (ASP) • ActiveX • AIX • Apache • AS/400 • ASIQ • BizTalk • BlackBerry Enterprise Server (BES) • Brio • CADD • CAiCE • CatOS • CICS • Cisco IOS • Cisco PIX • Cisco router • Citrix • Cmd • COBOL • Cold Fusion • Com/Dcom • Control Language (CL) • Control-M • COSO • Crystal Reports • DB2/400 • Debugging Tools • DHCP • DHTML • DNS • Dreamweaver • Easytrieve Plus • eDirectory • EMS/SAC • ETL • Fedora • Firewall/IPS • Firewalls • FTP • GnuPG • GroupWise • HTML • HTTP • HTTPS • IIS • InRoads • Internet Explorer • ISPF • ITIL • J2EE • Java • JavaScript • JBoss • JCL • Ksh • Law Enforcement Data System (LEDS) • LDAP • Linux • Mainframe Tools • Microsoft Office • MicroStation • MicroStation BASIC • MicroStation Development Language • MRTG • MS EFS • MS Internet Information Store • MS Visual Basic • MS Visual InterDev • MS Visual Source Safe • MS Visual Studio • MS/SQL • MYSQL • Nagios • Nessus • NetFlow • NetWare • Ntop • OpenNMS • openSUSE • Oracle • Perl • PHP • PowerShell • P-SQL • RACF • Red Hat • RMON • SANS CISSP • SANS GSEC • SANS security tracks • SASs • SELinux • SMTP • SNARE • SNMP • Snort • Solaris • SQL Server • SQL-DB2 • SSL VPN • SUSE • Sybase • Syslog • TCP/IP • Terminal Services • Tomcat • TSO • T-SQL • Utilize COBIT • VB Script • Vital Records • VSAM • Websphere • Windows • Windows 2003/NT servers • XML • ZENWorks •

Other Skills:

Professional • Consultative • Technical • Administrative • Designing information systems • Constructing information systems • Analyzing information systems • Application development • Systems Analysis • Data Modeling Concepts • Web design • Web Authoring • Web Maintenance • Direct technical consultation • Coordinating web design projects • Desktop publishing • Compiling and producing information for wide dissemination • Commitment to customer satisfaction • Help Desk tools and processes • Ability to adapt to change • Flexibility in Hours and Days • Ability to work independently • Contribute positively within a team environment • Dependability • Attention to detail • Accuracy • Ability to multi-task • Information systems planning • Information systems development • Information systems coordination • Information systems implementation • Technical background in network fundamentals • Technical background in operating systems • Technical background in software standards • Technical background in hardware standards • Technical team leader in business intelligence • Technical team leader in architectural consulting • Technical team leader in requirements gathering • Technical team leader in business analysis • Technical team leader in information deliver • Technical team leader in data modeling • Technical team leader in full life-cycle project management • Strong technical analytical skills in a secure data-center environment • Ability to explain complex technical issues to non-technical customers • Knowledge of or exposure to next-generation Microsoft platforms • Technical experience troubleshooting information systems • Performing detailed analysis existing systems • Managing time and projects • Demonstrated understanding of database management systems • Understanding of secure coding practices related to web development • Effective written and verbal communication skills • Business requirements collection, analysis, design and specification • Systems Administration • Web services administration • E-mail services administration • Database Administration • Experience with information security principles • Experience with I.T. project management methodologies and best practices • MS windows domain security administration • IT skills in building • IT skills in configuring • IT skills in administering • IT skills in supporting • IT skills in upgrading • IT skills in maintaining hardware • IT skills in software • IT skills in servers • IT skills in peripherals •

I might apply for that pet shop assistant manager job I saw listed on Monster.com. (sigh)