A storm within

I find it odd that the day after I finished listening to NPR's Talk of the Nation's show about migraines that I get a killer of a doozy migraine myself. Yesterday I did find some fascinating websites that helped me feel a little less alone in the world of all things painful in the head.

First, the notes and podcast of the TOTN show: Your Health Section I need to go back and listen to the whole thing again, without the pledge week breaks.

Next is the New York Times Migraine blog that discusses migraines. I have added it to my blog-roll to the right here.

Then finally a page that has a couple animations that try to describe the aura that migraine sufferers see on the onset of a migraine. Fortunately, it hasn't happened when I was driving, and if it did, I'd have to pull over. Because for 30 minutes I am practically blind. After that, the sensitivity to light makes you wish you were completely blind. On big bad episodes, like the one I had today, the aura starts as a little sparkle in the lower left of my vision then grows slowly over the next hour or so overwhelming my entire vision. There usually isn't much pain then, but I can judge the amount of pain coming by the strength of my aura. Today I had a double wave. The first aura past by then another one started: very unusual. I was expecting a painful one today. I wasn't disappointed either, it HURTS I tell you, especially when I move. Coughing is a religious experience. I have recently been experiencing tiny migraines, where in one eye I start to get the aura, and then it suddenly vanishes. Then in about 15 minutes, I get that weird migraine ethereal feeling and then a nagging headache just kind of slides in and stays a while. A while meaning about three days, it seems I have a headache all the time. When people tell me they really don't get headaches I get all teary eyed and wonder how that might feel.

When I was a kid, the transition from aura to pain usually was the time of puking. Migraines were a lot more painful when I was younger. I think since about 14 or so is when I started having them. My siblings have them; at least one niece has them, the poor thing. She's tough. You have to be with these. After awhile you just adapt. It's part of your life. You aren't going to die from them. They aren't contagious to passers byes. The best you can do is live with them the best you can. We learn the tricks; jump in a quiet dark hole, take some Excedrin, drink a cup of coffee right away, put an ice pack on your forehead and try to fall asleep. That's when you can. Mostly mine happen in the middle of the day. Usually after I have already been at work or somewhere and I can't jump down a dark hole. There are new treatments, but at my age, the side effects, cost, and lack of guarantee just leave me feeling that I can deal with them now without help. It all passes eventually. For days afterwards, you feel like you have a hangover. I'm worried my children will get them. They tend to hereditary it seems. It breaks my heart to think about that. I have to remember, although sometimes you wish they did, migraines can't kill you.