Live Blogging the State Of The Union Address

Waiting (with my drink) for the president to start talking.

Watching on NPB, because I don’t trust the anyone else.

Congress people are walking in, quit shaking hands and sit the hell down.  Everyone bring their date tonight?  This is suppose to be a mingler. 

YOU LIE! too soon?

There he is.  Shaking hands.   Hugging.  He has gray hair.  Kissed Hillary.  Look they wore dresses … oops, robes.  Those would be justices.  He’s kissing ALL the ladies.  Player.  At the podium.  let the ovations begin.

First lady is very tall.

The sweet potato starts the show … who?  Oh he’s the speaker of the house?  Standing O for Boner! 

Get Well Gabby

Al Franken.  Live from Saturday .. what?  oh, really? 

hey, Congress has mixed it up, R sitting next to D, lions with the lamb, dogs and cats living together. 

My paycheck is actually smaller.  Who got a raise?  Not this guy. 

China sounds pretty nice.  Giant solar powered super computers?  Hell ya. 

Kennedy quote … can I drink?  I’m going to anyway.  DRINK!

Standing O’s looking rare tonight.  Perhaps they all jogged to the capital.  They must be tired.

yay Internet Revolution.  I’m naming my browser John Paul Jones.  (side note, my dsl went out briefly before the SOTU)

Sputnik! Drink! Sputnik Moment! Drink!

invest = spend, right tea party?  You own the new thesaurus, YOU tell ME.

Almond brothers? wait … I’m not paying enough attention. Oakridge boys?  Wait, slow down.

Is he pointing at me?

Define clean?  Because you haven’t seen my ‘clean’ kitchen lately. 

If we all have college degrees, who’s going to be running the Taco Bell drive thru? 

ooh, Biden is awake.  He just nodded and smiled. oops, clapped out of turn. Goof-ball.  Boner hasn’t moved.  Joe, poke him.  ooh, there … alive but smirky.

South Korean Teachers are called Nation Builders.  Bob the Builder moves to Seoul. 

“Become a teacher, your country needs you” Mrs. Glatt, my drunk middle school math teacher agrees. (bless her intoxicated dead soul)

Community College RULE … (Chemeketa Community College Alum)  my degree, furniture engineer.

uh oh, Dream act plea … anchor babies unite.  ok, so there’s where the Taco Bell drive thru people will come from. 

South Korea has better internet?  Why the hell did I leave then?  They have better teachers AND better high speed internet?  I’m moving back.  The beer is cheaper too if I remember correctly, and I may not be.

That bullet train to downtown would be sweet.  “without the pat-down” ha ha, he made a joke. 

Lobbyist are bad bad people.  They made the tax code corrupt.  Tax reform mandated … there goes my gin deduction loophole. 

Again, South Korea… he likes those guys a lot.

Deregulate Regulate Deregulate Regulate … ok, you lost me.

health care joke, he made another one.  Funny Guy.  He’s going to line item repeal his own health care law.  That was his plan all along.  He’s sneaky, I’m voting for him again.

tee hee, since congress mingled it looks like all ovations are standing ovations. 

yay, for living within means.  ooh, spending freeze wasn’t popular … I thought that’s what they wanted.   … airplane crash joke?  bad form POTUS, fire the person who wrote THAT. 

OH, snap .. in your face wealthy Americans!  ha.  Millionaires give up their tax break, I like that.  Unless I win the lotto.  then HELL NO.

How can you have an efficient government?  I blame Salmon that we don’t have that now! 

uh oh, post meetings between lobbyist and congress online?  You thought wikileaks was bad.

Now he’s going to scare us.  Our enemies are everywhere you know.  We won in Iraq?  Hell ya. 

American Muslims get a shout out.  Was their a problem with them?  I need to pay closer attention. 

We didn’t win in Afghanistan yet?  Hell ha.  

Again, South Korea.  I’m going to start calling him the Kimchee President.

South .. not Korea, Sudan!  We did that?

Biden starts his drinking game very late in the address.  Dude you’re rules were too specific.  Oh, Boner drank.  What did the POTUS say? I need to pay closer attention.

Yea, American Troops.  The support continues.  Gay Troops!  hurrah!  Colleges free to enlist gay troops again.  I wish I was still in the army.  It’s just now getting interesting. 

YOU LIE! … what?  Not yet?

I’d trade places with South Korea.  It’s hard to resist the hard sell.

Anything is possible.  Scranton Kid fist pump.  Boner gives the thumbs up.  Almond Brothers?  OH,  Allen Brothers.  I like their coffee. 

THAT guy saved the Chilean Minors?  Hero!  He’s getting attention NOW.

Boner just looked at the clock.  He’s missing football?  Yo, Boner … Monday Night Football is over.  hello.

YOU LIE! … no?  crap. when was I supposed to yell that?

Good job.  over.  My drink is empty.

Some other guy starts to talk soon.  Is Wheel of Fortune on?